My Salad Dressings are Not in Alpha Order
Living one’s life as a perfectionist along with growing up with a mom suffering from the same disorder is far from perfect. I say “disorder” in the kindest terms possible because there is a misconception in either direction about how we perfectionists view our lives, and those that view how we behave.
Here are the truths that I’ve discovered. I welcome comments if you also live as I do.
One: I have learned to understand that I will never be truly content with most decisions I make about almost everything. We are the people who have unfinished work because we are too frustrated. We might justify storing our salad dressings alphabetically because “order” (not to be confused with OCD) is a result of wanting everything to look & feel perfect. My mother had both OCD and perfectionism (see wiki link below) and I was never quite sure if the two were interrelated or even if it matters.
Two: We see it in other people and it might appear annoying when it’s someone else. The result is normally beautiful work (should they be artistic) although it may take forever to finish their projects. If they don’t have an artistic bent they may live in such an orderly fashion as to drive their friends crazy.
Three: We are stuck with indecision constantly. This leads to depression. We are never “happy” after a decision. We will shop endlessly for the perfect “whatever” and then go back and buy the 1st one we saw. Our grass will never be green enough. The person we date will never live up to the expectations of what we “think” we want.
Regarding love. Let me say this and be done with it. Stop looking for it like you shop for a car. by the time you get all the accessories you want and place your order – a newer, better car will hit the market. You will never win. Do this—let love find you instead.
I will end here because I will never be satisfied if this article is too extensive or too short with not enough information. I will probably check the spell-check six times before the end of this sentence. *checks*
I have learned over time to relax and let the world revolve without me, let my 5th draft be the last, and save my painting as the “final” even though I’m never sure if it’s done. I will give my friends a break when I see flaws in them. I am learning, finally that there can be peace. Embrace your life the way it is.
note: My dressings are not in alpha order…..anymore. Okay- they ARE all on the same shelf at all times or I -sigh-.
2nd note: We are the only ones that add 2nd notes. Also, don’t be confused if you see visible dirt in a perfectionist’s home. We probably got stuck at the market 6 different times figuring out which cleaner was best to get that out. 😀
some good reads:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfectionism_%28psychology%29
http://quinncreative.wordpress.com/2007/07/01/the-exhausted-perfectionist
